The beginning of this story starts with a bare baby face, which you can read about here.
In late March, a friend told me that if you manage to grow a beard for a year, the Millenials call it a “yeard”. I liked that, and thought to myself, “Hmm, maybe I can last till August. That would be a year.” So, despite beginning to feel like I had hit a “limit”, I recommitted from 9-months, to a year. Same goal: no trimming or cutting of any kind.
Then, in May or June, a coworker, who is clean shaven and has bare-trimmer-length hair, suggested that we do a “beard-off”. We both shave clean, and then grow a beard for a month, and see who can grow the longest/best. And, when else would you do something like that, but for Movember! Ultimately, his goal was a good one. He believed that I would be able to raise quite a bit of money for my muff, and it would all go to a good cause for the fine people at Movember.
But, that meant keeping it all the way till mid- or end-October. That was another 2 months beyond the year mark I was already extending from the 9-month mark. I liked the idea at first, so I said OK. But then I started re-thinking it.
Recall that I wasn’t trimming ANYTHING. So my mustache hairs were getting long, too. I read some articles on how to eat with a mustache, but I found the hairs still getting in my mouth, and needing a napkin close by, to wipe my mouth after almost each bite. That’s kinda annoying, folks. I believe most guys don’t have this problem, as they probably trim their mustache, even if they have a long, thick beard. So no amount of reading was really helping. I looked into mustache waxes and cremes, and even tried to use gel. But apparently my hair doesn’t like to be tamed, and just wants to go straight down.
Honestly, I think it WOULD look good, if trimmed. I’m not sure how the Duck Dynasty folks are doing it, as it doesn’t look like they trim the beard OR the mustache, either. And it still looks good for them. But I think I’ve reached the limit of what looks good on me.
So, new goal: I will stick with the 1-year mark. I want to be able to claim I have a “yeard” and meet my personal commitment. Then, I will shave it off in early September, and still do the “beard-off” with my coworker for Movember. Finally, I will set a monetary goal. I think my friend at work is correct: I should be able to get some decent donations for this scraggly muskrat on my face. Afterall, it will have been a whole year! That’s got to be worth something! And it all goes to a great cause at Movember. This will be first time in 20 years that I will be completely clean-shaven, too!
So, as an incentive, I have set a very specific monetary goal. If I can reach $1000 in donations, I will also shave my head! Another experiment! That’s right, I will become a total cue-ball! I have never, ever, ever been completely shave-headed. The closest was a summer buzz-cut when I was 8 years old! (Sorry, no pic. I looked.)
I will video the beard cutting, trimming, and shaving, and post it on my mobro page. If I reach the monetary goal, I will also video me going bald and post that as well. So, lots of incentives, folks!!
EDIT: updated Incentive! Check here.
So, if you think this was a cool idea, or a cool story, if you’re impressed by the length I got, if you’d like to support Mental Health in Men, or if you’re just sick and tired of seeing me in a beard and are looking for any incentive to help me get rid of it, now’s your chance!
Please help me in raising money, and awareness, for men’s mental and physical health, by donating to my mobro page: https://mobro.co/mkaufman811
Here’s me, as of early August. Pretty good length, I must say! And all for a great purpose.